What I learned in the first 7 months of being a mom.. and what I will do differently next time.

Congrats! You're a new parent. Maybe this is your third child or your first. Following the birth of your child, you will spend one to three days in the hospital, depending on the circumstances surrounding your birth. While you are in the hospital the nurses will literally drive you crazy and constantly tell you what to do, as annoying as it is, it is their job. They will ask you what time you fed your baby, how long, and tell you its probably time to do it again. They will ask about the diapers and expect you to remember everything about them. They will tell you not to sleep with your baby or hold your baby too much. You won't be allowed to carry the car seat to the car, but your husband can. Then they shut your door and you are on your way home. It is all up to you now!

I grew up with lots of cousins, a younger sibling, and all of my close friends and cousins had babies before I did. My friends would ask me advice about their children even though I had never had a baby. From a young age, I was drawn to women and children. I loved listening to my great grandmother and aunts and family friends talk about their experiences as parents. When I met my mother in law, it only took about a month for me to know my husband and his twin brother's entire birth story-- conception to teenage years. I pretty much thought I would have this whole parenting thing in the bag-- and for the most part I have-- but I did learn a lot in the first 7 months of my son's life. He is quite possibly the best teacher I have ever had!

I was sitting up tonight texting a couple of my friends from across the country. One of my friend's in Michigan, the other in California. Each of us have children and I was thinking about how everyone has said time has flown so quickly since Ezra's birth. I stop to think each time someone says this and haven't been able to agree with them, but I also spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week with my son (with a few exceptions). I also got to thinking about how much I have changed, grown, and learned in the last 7 months and the 9 before that! 

I decided to share some things I've learned & hope these things will help you!

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skin to skin baby wearing in my moby wrap

• Cosleeping when you are nursing will make your life so much easier.
• When you and the hubby are going somewhere.. sit in the backseat.. he isn't really a bad driver (let's hope yours isn't) but you will think he is. 
• Wearing your baby while you are grocery shopping will make you feel connected to the baby, keep baby safe, gives you more room in the cart, and will give you peace of mind about unwanted strangers touching the baby.
• Now that you have a baby, that means everyone will want to talk to you about something when you go out. 
• Growth spurts are really hard-- but you can make it through it! Just because baby wants to nurse every hour (or in my case 1/2 hour) doesn't mean you don't have enough milk.. it means he/she is telling your body to make more milk. It will be over in a couple days.
• Speaking of growth spurts, eating during one is super important! 
• There will be days where all you accomplish is feeding your baby (and that is perfectly okay!)....you might not have even ate!
• Ask for help and don't get angry at the fact that no one "thought" of you. This is something I have trouble with sometimes! We didn't get many visitors after Ezra was born, yet we have lots of friends. The friends that did visit didn't bring food (something that was really common where I came from in Michigan). Don't get angry when they don't think of it! Instead ask if you need help! Most people are more than happy to help or bring you a pizza or some type of meal! 
• Running a "hands on" business from home is REALLY hard and taxing on you mentally and physically.
• You have a right to be tired! 
• When in doubt, do skin to skin with your babe! Often times we couldn't find a "reason" for Ezra to be crying. He was changed, fed, bathed, etc. I used to go topless and then wrap my moby wrap around him and just sit in a dimly lit room. He would be happy as a clam and often times would fall asleep! 
• If baby is having trouble pooping-- try a probiotic & up your water intake. 
• Worrying about weight loss in the first year is like beating a dead horse so to speak. You might want to look good in those $100 jeans (yup i have one pair) but in all honesty you might not have the time or ability to "hit the gym" like you used to. If you're nursing you might be super hungry (I eat tons). Learn to love your body it just grew and birthed an amazing human.. it deserves respect. 
• Having positive affirmations taped up around the house will help! "You are beautiful" "You are an amazing mother" and so on will give you strength!
• Take some time to read each day. I enjoyed reading my bible and/or my daily devotional. Sometimes I only was able to read a paragraph or two but it made me feel better!
• Yes, ordering pizza three times in a week is a lot, but no one is judging you! 
• Googling ANYTHING about your child's health is a bad idea. You will convince yourself he/she has something wrong.. 
• Ask for advice but in all honesty, do what feels right.. you will feel better about yourself.
• Having a glass of wine or a beer is not that big of a deal, but it will feel like it! That first taste of sweet moscato on your lips will taste like heaven. You don't have to pump & dump though! Rule of thumb is if you are sober enough to safely drive you are sober enough to nurse. 
• It is completely normal to have snacks, water bottles, wipes, blankets, etc all over the house. 
• Sometimes deep freezers get left open and all your freezer meals go bad... don't freak out.. take a few deep breaths and then order pizza.. 
• It is okay that your house looks like it is falling apart.. no one cares.
• Getting behind on laundry is normal. 
• Saying "no" to someone isn't that big of a deal.. and if they make it out to be a big deal.. ignore it-- their problem not yours.
• You don't have to do everything that people tell you. 
• Frozen breast milk in these are amazing for teething babies
• Camilia is great for teething babies too
• You will hear "I've raised ______________ kids and they are perfectly find, I know what I'm talking about" so many times that your head will spin.
• Everyone has an opinion about what you're doing. 
• When in doubt snuggle the baby.
• Washing cloth diapers is not as extreme as people make it out to be... rinse cold wash hot rinse cold tumble dry no heat (or line dry)
• Little remedies gas drops will help you stay sane.
• Digize from young living is possibly the best colic reliever I've ever witnessed.
• Diffusing lavender essential oil will make both you and baby more relaxed. 
• When in doubt laugh.. your baby will probably laugh with you.
• Babies do things when you least expect it.. if you have family in another state or daddy works long hours... invest in a camcorder.. take it everywhere. 
• There will come a time when both you and baby are annoyed with each other... That is when you might need to A- take a target run B- hire a baby sitter and take a target run ;)
• It is so much easier to have 2 phone chargers.. one by your bed and one by wherever you sit/lay to nurse during the day. 
• Get up and pump in the middle of the night, especially if baby sleeps all night. It will help you not get engorged or clogged ducts (in my experience... some people may disagree with me).
• Drinking pineapple juice helps keep mastitis away.
• You will love your child so much that it physically hurts. 

Those are a few things I learned or took to heart.. 
Here are somethings I would do differently next time:

• Make freezer meals that are easier. Simple dump in the crock pot and turn it on. Or pull out of the freezer and put in the oven types of meals. 
• Make it a point to be sure you have a deep freezer that either locks or you check your freezer frequently to be sure it isn't left open!
• Interview pediatricians prior to the birth of your child & don't take everyone's word for what pediatrician is best. 
• Spend more time resting the first month.
• Not worry too much about getting to my prepregnancy weight for at least 6 months to a year. Stay active, like going for walks with your baby, but nothing crazy. I did a good job this time around but was frustrated when my husband's schedule didn't permit me to go to the gym as often as I would like. 
• Stock up on tucks pads (for when you go home or make your own), supplements, and healthy snacks. 
• Speaking of supplements & essential oils, click here, to download my file of supplements for new moms and babies. 
• Speaking of snacks, click here to download my favorite list of go-to snacks during growth spurts or if you are on the run.
• Make your own cosleeper with a crib.
• Always have 1-3 bottles of water within arm's reach. because I forget to drink water. 
• Hire a doula or postpartum doula! I know I am a doula.. but postpartum doulas are amazing and range in price! I would hire one to come out once a week so I could shower and cook a good meal and damnit for some female interaction lol.
• I run my own business (as you might notice). Next time I will have more products prepared and will hire someone to help with the social media and packaging to make my life a lot easier. 
• Make sure I have preemie or 0 size nipples for bottles if you are breastfeeding.
• Be sure everyone who watches the baby and the hubby understand pace feeding.. click here for the video.
• Not stress so much! This is such a precious time! You should be enjoying it rather than freaking out!